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First truth: I’ve never really been a fan of professional football. Growing up, I relished Saturday’s college football games and typically napped during the Sunday ones. I have stood by my Tigers and Longhorns, respectively, through the years, through good seasons and bad, but have never really thrown more than a passing thought to the NFC or AFC, and like many others, really only watch the Superbowl for the commercials. I have never seen the fuss over Brett Favre, am annoyed by the stories of Tony Romo’s rotating blonde singer girlfriends, and laugh at my boyfriend’s undying allegiance and frustrations with his Browns.

But boy do I love those Saints right now.

For those of you that know a little about me, it makes sense that if I were to root for any NFL team, it would be the Saints. Born in Louisiana, it didn’t matter that I moved to Texas at five, and then Ohio at the age of seven – there was no way I was going to become a Bengals fan. As much of my family are die-hard LSU fans, many are die-hard Saints fans, even when they were the Aints. But for me, a mostly non-fan of the NFL, my Saints’ fandom was sparse, more of a check-in here and there to make sure they were still out there, still kicking. Besides, they don’t really show Saints games in Ohio.

But today, the Saints are playing in the Superbowl. And I am a fan. I am even throwing a party, my first Superbowl party ever, complete with gumbo and king cake. Last year, I fell asleep on the couch during the big game. This year, I will be rooting until the very last seconds, because those Saints have a way of coming back when you least expect it.

Just like the people of New Orleans have since Katrina.

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What’s driving us?

Every day, in various situations, we ask questions like, what’s the reason for this? Why are we doing this? What’s the goal? Who is behind this? Who are we doing this for?

We ask it at work when we begin a new project and there isn’t much direction yet. We ask it of our friends or family if we’re confused by their actions, or if a relationship is stalled. We ask it of ourselves when thinking about our future, when setting goals for the year, when making life-changing decisions.

Sometimes, we have the answer. Sometimes, it’s as easy as setting a fundraising target or making a project plan with roles and responsibilities. Sometimes it’s telling someone you love the truth, clearing the air, and fixing the problem.

But sometimes, these questions seem almost unanswerable. Impossible. Cloudy. Questions you know aren’t going away, but still, months later, sometimes years later, you still can’t pin down.

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When I first came to DC three years ago, I wasn’t looking for new best friends (I have a couple of great ones), but I was hoping I would find some people to hang out with from time to time in this new place since I was away from home, from my boyfriend, from all of my friends.

Within a few weeks, I became friends with a group of people (mostly all guys) that a college buddy m

et when she had moved to DC, only a couple of months before. But sad to say, within my first year here, each and every single one of those people moved from DC, because they all worked for Exxon and that’s how Exxon works I guess.

An HMC moment

When I started my job, I did the happy hours and lunch here and there with some of my fellow coworkers, but it w

asn’t until my friend Jacqueline’s wedding that five of us really bonded. We began calling ourselves the Hot Mess Club – HMC for short. Soon after Jacqueline married, she left our office. About six months after that, I left. And now, our friend Christin is moving to Chicago, Abby may be moving to New Mexico at any moment, Alanna is looking at Costa Rica later this year, and who knows where I may end up in 2010.

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Since January 13, the day after the devastating earthquake hit Haiti, I have been consumed by all things…Haiti. Tweeting, Facebooking, mobile texting, emailing, updating, you name it, it has been about Haiti. The moment I saw the news, I knew that for the rest of the week, it was going to be a different world at work. It was and continues to be. That’s the power of a non-profit.

Our entire public affairs team has put in countless hours reaching out to media, posting updates from our colleague who went to Haiti to deliver medical supplies, asking people to donate to help the UN. Many of us (including myself) worked the entire three-day weekend, to ensure that our organization was doing all it could to support the UN’s relief efforts in Haiti – and it’s nowhere near over.

That being said, yeah, laying around in bed the whole weekend would have been nice, but at the end of the day, what really matters is that I’m proud to be part of such a powerful, inspiring group of people who are putting others before themselves, putting their all into something bigger than themselves, putting their passion for their work first and foremost in this time of need.

This is why I came to DC.

I have never been a part of something like this. In 2005 when Katrina hit New Orleans, I was scared for my family, and sad for the place of my birth, the place that I still hold dear in my heart. At college, I helped raise money for relief, but didn’t head down to rebuild, didn’t post banners on websites or urge people to give through their cell phones. And for the tsunami, I am reluctant to admit that I had no part in the relief efforts at all – I watched from the sidelines.

But here, now, I finally feel like I am truly helping. I may not be in Haiti delivering the medical supplies, the food, the water. I may not be setting up telecommunications so that families can call loved ones. I am proud of the people that do those things, and I admire it. But I do feel like here on my end, in front of the computer, that I am making a difference with my tweeting and banner posting, and email sending. Because how else do we get out the word about this crisis, how else do we let people know what they can do to help?

I’m proud of my team, proud of everyone who has given a part of themself for this effort.

This is why I came to DC.

Four years ago, I was devastated with the news that I wasn’t going to be the next editor-in-chief of my college newspaper. At the time, I didn’t know what was next. I had been waiting for that other answer, that other moment when I could see my name on the masthead, add the line to my resume. Suddenly, my plan was out of whack. And then just as suddenly, I had a new plan. I left the paper a few months later, and decided to finish school a semester early to get a head start on the job search.

Three years ago, I had just finished school, was living at home, looking for jobs and apartments and trying to decide between Chicago, New York and DC. I thought about working at a magazine, at a non-profit, at a newspaper, at a magazine, and finally decided upon a PR firm or a non-profit in DC – and promptly moved here only with the apartment in place.

Two years ago, I was really ready to get out of my first job – really really ready. I knew more about what I didn’t want, what I did want, and where to look. Then I found a great one (where I’m at today).

One year ago, I was tired of letting my past interfere with my present and future. I wanted to figure out who I was and what I could be. So I started seeing a therapist.

And then there’s today.

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The title doesn’t have the same ring as Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve does it? Oh well…I’m perfectly fine with that, because instead of standing in freezing cold, rainy Times Square, I’m snug in my bed at my parents’ house in Cincinnati, with my heating blanket on, knowing that right above me sleeping are my wonderful Mom & Dad and two adorable corgis.

I’ve been lacking in my posts in the last couple of weeks while at home, but it’s only fitting to do a year-end post. Because I love lists, part of the post is a compilation of some of 2009’s best moments. See that later. First, a little reflection…

2009 began with a bang with President Obama taking office. February marked two years since I moved to DC, and March brought my 1-year anniversary at my job.  April was three years with my boyfriend, and August was one year in my studio apartment. November was the big 25th birthday, and I will remember this Christmas as probably the last time I will get to spend a full two weeks around the holidays at home. That’s a lot of occasions, celebrations and memories.

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…we’ll remember all through our lives.

First, Casey's turn...

So goes a verse in the Carpenters’ Christmas classic, “Sleigh Ride.” This song will be playing while my parents and I drag up the big plastic containers with red and green lids from the basement that snugly hold our universe of Christmas decorations. We’ll pick and choose from the bins which knicknacks we want to place around the house and which ones we don’t feel like dealing with, and slowly begin to unwrap each of the dozens of ornaments from their boxes and paper towel wrappings and bubble wrap. We’ll marvel over the ornaments that have made it 20 years or more, over the handmade pieces I created in school as a child, and the still wonderful, potent smell from the clove ball all these years later.

Harrison will circle around us, sniffing everything. We’ll remember when Casey used to try to distract us with a toy. Dad will come at the very end, to hang his favorite ornaments and to lift me on his shoulders to place the angel on top of the tree. Then we’ll switch on the string of lights… and all will be well and wonderful in the world.

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“Giving back” is the new, sexy buzz phrase these days – EVERYONE wants a piece of the philanthropy pie. It’s on the nightly news broadcasts, in every blog, and if you work at a non-profit like me, everything you do is about giving back.

But I noticed that “giving back” often has the same connotations as shopping for the best Christmas presents – how much money can I give and to how many organizations?

To me, giving back isn’t about racking up a list of the 10 charities you made a donation to – because then it ends up reading like your other shopping list: “Oh, I saved a child for $15 here, bought a water jug for $5 there…” When I think about giving back, so many “old-fashioned” methods come to mind. Here are a few I like:

  • Cooking dinner for your local fire/police station (the firefighters by my parents’ neighborhood have come to love our Cajun dishes)
  • Instead of stuffing last season’s coat/scarf in the back of the closet – donate it to a shelter
  • Bring old blankets and towels to an animal shelter
  • Hand someone walking in the rain your umbrella
  • Pick up an extra latte for your door man/woman, front desk person, security guard, etc.
  • Offer to walk the dog/cook/pick up the mail/go grocery shopping for your elderly neighbor
  • Mail a holiday greeting card to someone who isn’t expecting it
  • Drop off lunch for someone with a busy schedule
  • For book lovers, make homemade bookmarks with their favorite quotes and photos on them (I did this for my dad – he loved it!)
  • Call someone you love – even if they were supposed to call you first.
  • Loan some of your favorite books and movies (happy, comforting ones!) to a friend who can’t make it home for the holidays
  • Tell the people in your life that you love them. Works every time.

What are some of the ways you are giving back this year?

As a kid, we were endlessly asked by parents, teachers, friends and grandma what we wanted to be when we grew up. Back then, it was easy: a firefighter! a ballerina! In my case, a writer. As we grew older, the question still lingered, but the answer wasn’t always so simple. The one or two-word career we dreamed about wasn’t going to just poof! appear on a business card all ready for us to hand out. For some people, it’s because their dream career is unrealistic, too expensive, or too hard. But for some of us, that dream is still alive, but now, the question is more about how do we fit that into the rest of our lives? Too bad we can’t have it as easy as dogs: wake up, eat, poop, sleep, do it all over again. What a life!

What's all the fuss about?

We get boyfriends, girlfriends, rent payments. Our chosen field is suddenly not the best to enter into in bad economic times and changing technologies (newspaper reporter, anyone?). Suddenly, it’s not just about picking something and being it – and that age-old question of “what do you want to do?” is constantly staring us in the face, making us impatient, causing us to hem and haw over our every decision.

Four years ago, I didn’t know what exactly I would be doing, or where I would be. I just knew that I wanted to be writing, and living in a fun place (Chicago, DC, NYC, etc.). When I decided to graduate early and get a head start on life, I had only starting dating my boyfriend a week before. A boyfriend who was headed to law school, so that already meant long times ahead. Four years ago, I didn’t really have a plan, for once in my life, except to go do something I loved, and I figured the rest would come along.

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I’m on quite a delay from my last post, and I thought that it was apropos to write while watching one of my favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz. Strangely enough, this movie is one of the constants in my life. As a child, I remember watching it when a hurricane hit in Louisiana, when I saw my first snowfall (again in Louisiana), and as I’ve grown older, many lazy, rainy afternoons or evenings when I needed something comforting and familiar. No matter what I’m thinking about or preparing for, I can stop and watch Dorothy and her trio of friends face the unknown and scary, and smile at the simplicity and magic of the story.

As some of you might know, I recently traveled to Germany on vacation for a week. The trip had a dual purpose – to visit Mom while she was there on business, and to get myself the heck out of dodge for a while. I hadn’t been on an extended vacation in quite some time, and I also hadn’t been to a place other than Ohio, Syracuse, or Louisiana in several years either, so this was something I was looking forward to for months. The ultimate goal was to go there and not think about work, or my boyfriend, or the lions, tigers, and bears that the future holds. It’s unrealistic to believe that I would NEVER think about any of those things while I was away, but I do feel that I was able to step away from most of that while I was away, and now that I’ve returned, I have a bit of a new perspective on what lies ahead, but more importantly, on what is happening now in my life.

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