Three years ago, I had just finished school, was living at home, looking for jobs and apartments and trying to decide between Chicago, New York and DC. I thought about working at a magazine, at a non-profit, at a newspaper, at a magazine, and finally decided upon a PR firm or a non-profit in DC – and promptly moved here only with the apartment in place.

Two years ago, I was really ready to get out of my first job – really really ready. I knew more about what I didn’t want, what I did want, and where to look. Then I found a great one (where I’m at today).

One year ago, I was tired of letting my past interfere with my present and future. I wanted to figure out who I was and what I could be. So I started seeing a therapist.

And then there’s today.

My generation, Millennials, is known for always being ready to move on to the next thing, to transition before we get bored, to be bigger, better, cooler, smarter, you name it. These are traits that don’t apply to everyone, and although I don’t think they all apply to me in most situations, I admit that I see myself in these categories at times. Today, in the general sense, is one of those times.

In other posts, I’ve talked about how the upcoming year could mean some big changes for me in terms of taking the next step in my relationship with my boyfriend, and how where I’ll be and what I do might be impacted by his own career opportunities. So of course, as a planner, I’m already thinking ahead about my future and the what ifs, but this adds on an extra layer of omg what will I be doing in October of this year, and May of next, and so forth.

The what ifs can be scary – but as I look at my four year journey and see that every scary, uncertain moment was followed by a confident, positive change, I carry that with me and know that the what ifs and the what’s nexts will always be there. Every time a change is made, the next one will start rolling in, like the tide. Sometimes it will be high, bringing in crashing waves of momentum and excitement that are perfect for riding out on in life’s extreme moments. Sometimes it will be low, gently washing over each day in my life, a slow transition will little side affects. And sometimes, I may get caught up in the undercurrent, and feel like I’m about to be pulled under and carried away.

But then I do what I’ve done before: I talk to friends and family, write down goals, put thoughts into action and turn what ifs into what’s next.

On to bigger and better things though- the year is almost over! Insert phrase that we all say every time this year: “I can’t believe it went so fast!”

But seriously. A LOT has happened this past year. A quick rundown on my end: new job, new apartment…and another new iPod.  From my past posts, you’ve seen that I’ve really enjoyed my job switch this year. It’s been a fabulous 10 months so far. I work with a great team on some amazing issues, and it’s just been really invigorating all around. It’s really interesting to see how a job change can give you a fresh outlook on life, and how much stress and negativity just washes away.

But that wasn’t all. I also moved into a place of my own, which I LOVE. I know some people still like having roommates to hang out with and it saves money, etc, but I really don’t think I could have it any better than I do now. I have a great studio in a great area, and I am just fine with coming home to my place and my things and my mess (I actually don’t really have messes, because I’m a neat freak). I can watch my shows and cook in my kitchen and all that other fun stuff that comes with living alone. And again, it’s amazing what stresses are lifted when you’re not dealing with a living situation you’re unhappy in.

Conclusion: life is good.

In addition to all this, I’ve recently started corresponding with some family members that for many years were not in my life, thanks to all kinds of drama and bad times when I was younger. It’s a huge step for me, because for awhile, I said I just wouldn’t deal with it anymore and I didn’t need it. Now, it’s not that I need it, but I feel I can finally move past the bad stuff and get some closure. I will never go back to how things were 10 years ago, but it’s something that I need to do to be at peace with things. More importantly, because I have great parents, a boyfriend and friends who care about me, I don’t need much to come out of this – it’s just my little thing that I’m doing so that the what if’s won’t be running around in my head anymore. It’s a long process though, so I know that I may still have some moments where I’m struggling and wondering “what’s next?” But I won’t allow myself to get hurt anymore because I do have the control. My dad always tells me that – that I have control over how I react to something, and he’s right. It’s in my power to figure out how I will or will not respond to something.

I think this really translates into all of the stuff that’s been happening in my life this year and that continues to happen. If I have a friend who isn’t really being a good friend or if I’m unhappy about something at work- it’s up to me to decide how it will affect me and what I will do, if anything, about it. I can either say, “ok, it is what it is” and step away from it, or I can try to figure it out – but it doesn’t have to stress me out. That’s something I continually work on. That there are some things out of my control, but that it’s in my control to realize and accept this. Deep, but not really. Quite simple- it’s just a matter of applying it to daily life.

Personal stuff aside, it’s been amazing being in DC for all of the pre-election and post-election excitement. It was one of the best nights of my life to be at a bar in Dupont Circle with friends during the returns, and to run on the streets screaming and hugging people out of pure happiness at the change that is coming. Yes, I just said that! I’m really excited to be here for the inauguration and the upcoming couple of years – what a great place to be in for all of this!

I think this is enough for now. Does anyone have any thoughts about their 2008?

Who is excited to go home for the holidays? I am! Here is a preview of my trip home:

-corgis
-movies
-pot pie
-finally seeing The Nutcracker Ballet!
-watching A Muppet Christmas Carol
-Law & Order marathons