I’ve been lacking in my posts in the last couple of weeks while at home, but it’s only fitting to do a year-end post. Because I love lists, part of the post is a compilation of some of 2009′s best moments. See that later. First, a little reflection…

2009 began with a bang with President Obama taking office. February marked two years since I moved to DC, and March brought my 1-year anniversary at my job.  April was three years with my boyfriend, and August was one year in my studio apartment. November was the big 25th birthday, and I will remember this Christmas as probably the last time I will get to spend a full two weeks around the holidays at home. That’s a lot of occasions, celebrations and memories.

2009 is also the year that I began my journey of self-discovery and healing, and what a journey that has been. It’s far from over, but I do feel that I’ve overcome some hurdles and bumps along the way, and the path ahead is getting smoother. It’s a funny thing, therapy. I’ve said this before, but it’s sometimes hard to articulate progress because it’s not a tangible item, not something I can write on paper or hold in my hand. It’s feelings, and a different way of acting and reacting, a new perspective, a fresh outlook, and many aha! moments. And sometimes, it’s still painful, and horrible, and angry, and sad – and not just for me.

With 2010 less than an hour away, I know that it’s time to forge ahead and bring my journey to new heights, and face new challenges…and it will take more than some sessions on the couch. It might mean more vacations for myself, more massages, more reading, or a new class. It might mean doing something I didn’t think I could do before. It might mean thinking things I didn’t think before, and feeling things I didn’t feel before. But whatever it is, I’m ready for it.

2010 is likely to bring much change to my life. After spending the last 2.5 years wondering what would happen after my boyfriend is out of law school, that time is almost here. Over the next 6-8 months, some major decisions will be made – and although I don’t know what those will be right now, I am going to go forward with confidence in those choices, and with faith that things will work out the way they are meant to – that’s all I can ask for right now. In one of the closing scenes in When Harry Met Sally, Harry finds Sally right before midnight at a party on New Year’s Eve. After he tells her all the reasons he loves her, he says with a flourish, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” I’ve been waiting a few years, but I know that if I have to wait some more, there is a reason for that…and if I don’t have to wait, there is a reason for that, too.

And for the list – my top moments of 2009:

• Standing on the Capitol Lawn for President Obama’s inauguration
• Attending Relay for Life in Lutcher, to celebrate the life of my aunt, a true survivor, and the memory of my grandfather.
• Going to the UN and being inspired by youth fighting climate change
• West Wing tour
• Seeing Niagara Falls for the first time
• Celebrating the memory of our beloved Casey, and bringing home a new buddy for Harrison, McGee
• Celebrating my 25th birthday in Germany with my Mom
• Getting to spend a second summer in a row with Dan in DC
• Seeing some of my favorite people from high school, some of whom are my best friends still
• Coming home for the holidays

On to bigger and better things though- the year is almost over! Insert phrase that we all say every time this year: “I can’t believe it went so fast!”

But seriously. A LOT has happened this past year. A quick rundown on my end: new job, new apartment…and another new iPod.  From my past posts, you’ve seen that I’ve really enjoyed my job switch this year. It’s been a fabulous 10 months so far. I work with a great team on some amazing issues, and it’s just been really invigorating all around. It’s really interesting to see how a job change can give you a fresh outlook on life, and how much stress and negativity just washes away.

But that wasn’t all. I also moved into a place of my own, which I LOVE. I know some people still like having roommates to hang out with and it saves money, etc, but I really don’t think I could have it any better than I do now. I have a great studio in a great area, and I am just fine with coming home to my place and my things and my mess (I actually don’t really have messes, because I’m a neat freak). I can watch my shows and cook in my kitchen and all that other fun stuff that comes with living alone. And again, it’s amazing what stresses are lifted when you’re not dealing with a living situation you’re unhappy in.

Conclusion: life is good.

In addition to all this, I’ve recently started corresponding with some family members that for many years were not in my life, thanks to all kinds of drama and bad times when I was younger. It’s a huge step for me, because for awhile, I said I just wouldn’t deal with it anymore and I didn’t need it. Now, it’s not that I need it, but I feel I can finally move past the bad stuff and get some closure. I will never go back to how things were 10 years ago, but it’s something that I need to do to be at peace with things. More importantly, because I have great parents, a boyfriend and friends who care about me, I don’t need much to come out of this – it’s just my little thing that I’m doing so that the what if’s won’t be running around in my head anymore. It’s a long process though, so I know that I may still have some moments where I’m struggling and wondering “what’s next?” But I won’t allow myself to get hurt anymore because I do have the control. My dad always tells me that – that I have control over how I react to something, and he’s right. It’s in my power to figure out how I will or will not respond to something.

I think this really translates into all of the stuff that’s been happening in my life this year and that continues to happen. If I have a friend who isn’t really being a good friend or if I’m unhappy about something at work- it’s up to me to decide how it will affect me and what I will do, if anything, about it. I can either say, “ok, it is what it is” and step away from it, or I can try to figure it out – but it doesn’t have to stress me out. That’s something I continually work on. That there are some things out of my control, but that it’s in my control to realize and accept this. Deep, but not really. Quite simple- it’s just a matter of applying it to daily life.

Personal stuff aside, it’s been amazing being in DC for all of the pre-election and post-election excitement. It was one of the best nights of my life to be at a bar in Dupont Circle with friends during the returns, and to run on the streets screaming and hugging people out of pure happiness at the change that is coming. Yes, I just said that! I’m really excited to be here for the inauguration and the upcoming couple of years – what a great place to be in for all of this!

I think this is enough for now. Does anyone have any thoughts about their 2008?

Who is excited to go home for the holidays? I am! Here is a preview of my trip home:

-corgis
-movies
-pot pie
-finally seeing The Nutcracker Ballet!
-watching A Muppet Christmas Carol
-Law & Order marathons