My parents are gone for a few days so it’s just me and the dogs on the “farm.” The morning clouds and coolness has cleared, and now it’s the usual hot and sunny with some wind. The back patio is actually quite nice with the umbrella unfolded, and you can’t beat the views of course. I think these few days alone will be pretty telling – will it make the homesickness that has recently come on stronger or will I begin to really embrace the peace and quiet? When I’m one week in (the first week didn’t count because it was vacation), it’s an in between spot in my mind and my heart. I’m lonely and missing my friends, and missing all that DC has to offer within footsteps or a metro ride. On the other hand, the break from endless networking events, happy hours, and nine to five is a welcome relief. Instead of worrying about fitting in a workout or a chance to read for fun or do some journaling, I have plenty of time for that and more. When there’s no one to hang out with other than your parents and not many places that are easy to get to other than wineries, options are few so you have to focus, or get creative.
Speaking of focus, I started reading a book my friend gave me, The War of Art. It’s all about how a little thing (and really, it’s a huge thing) called resistance gets in the way of our hopes and dreams and what we’re passionate about. Everyone has resistance within them, but it’s up to us to control it and overcome it and put our head down, and simply, get shit done. It’s definitely something that resonates right now. It might seem easy to those on the outside – I have time, I have space, I have security, why not just sit down every day and write? But all the little whispers of resistance get in my face: I’m not a good writer anymore, I won’t make any money doing this, I can’t think of anything to write about, I’m bored, I’m restless… it can go on and on.
Having a routine is important, even when working from home. It still means getting up to walk the dogs and eat breakfast, and get other work out of the way. It means picking the spot in the house (or outside) and turning off the wifi and turning on the music (or whatever works for you) and just starting to write. Once it starts… it keeps going, until you’re truly ready to stop. Some days I will only want to write a page, other days, I will want to work on four different pieces. But on the days I don’t want to do anything, I have to remember that’s resistance. No matter the reason, it needs to go away, because this is what I chose and this is what I’m doing. It doesn’t mean that I can’t change my mind at some point, but for now, this is what I’m focused on, and I will only know if this is the right path for me if I give it, and me, a chance. A real one.
The weeks and months to come will be important…perhaps the most important of my journey. I made the leap, and came out here. That was tough. But almost harder is now putting it to practice, living in the moment, and then figuring out the long-term plan. So with that, it’s time to get to work.
Jenna Sauber 