Apparently my weekly sessions are helping – she told me this week that I seem to be showing more flexibility and less need for control. I’d like to think that is true, because sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes, I am still worrying and fearing and being emotional when I don’t need to be. Sometimes I still think about stuff that I should have let go awhile ago.
But I’m getting there. Except for the whole bad dream thing. It’s getting to the point where I’m annoyed at these dreams I’m having. For years, I’ve always had dreams of being chased, of being captured, bad guys coming after me, etc. And recently I’ve been having more episodes where I think someone is in my room and I’m scared to death. Last night – I was shot at in my dream. Through a window in my house, and then they were trying to get in to get me. I wonder if it’s because I watched “Taken” recently. Or, it might just be more of my issues coming up in weird ways.
The good news is that despite the bad dreams, I’ve been sleeping somewhat better in the last few days since Dan’s arrival. Just having him in the apartment and sleeping next to me is having a calming effect. It’s also good for us too, obviously, since we’re in a long-distance relationship. One more year of this, and then….dum dum dum….then who knows still? But that’s just one more thing to worry about that I can’t worry about, so moving on.
On a side note, I really loved reading Obama’s speech in Cairo. Really well written, covered great points, and is hopefully a good starting point to getting some peace in the Middle East a “new beginning” as his speech was titled. I also like that tomorrow is Friday.
Jenna Sauber 