Making the big elephant in the room smaller

There are always the conversations that we know we should have, but don’t want to. Usually it’s because we’re afraid of hurting someone, or getting hurt ourselves. Even the people who never shy away from a challenge or a confrontation or an opportunity to speak the truth can find it hard to avoid the 500 pound elephant in the room. But the moment you tackle it and that elephant becomes a baby elephant and you’re still standing, you know it was the right thing.

But how to start is the dilemma in so many cases. Should you wait for them to bring it up, should you bring it up, when do you bring it up, how do you bring it up? Do you rehearse it, do you wing it, do you plan an escape route if it doesn’t go well?

Sometimes, you don’t have time to think about any of that – and sometimes, that’s exactly the way it should be.

I recently reached a major breakthrough with someone in my life that was years in the making. 20 to be exact. And no, all the walls didn’t come crashing down, and puppies and cupcakes and unicorns did not start flying everywhere in the room. But the elephant, the giant, ugly elephant that had been standing among us for so long, shrunk to a size that made us breathe easier, that made us love harder, made us know each other better.

And I didn’t need to escape. I didn’t want to escape. I wanted to stay right there, in that moment, forever. We both did.

Sometimes, it takes one of you just asking “what’s going on?” for it to all come out. And that doesn’t mean it’s over, it just means whoo, at least we got that sort of out of the way. And now, it’s kinda like a second date. First one went really well, you made plans to hang out again, and now it’s like, ok…what’s going to happen? You get nervous, you get excited, you know it’s going to be 10 times better, or maybe much harder this time.

But you know why it’s good? Because it’s the Things You Need to Hear. It’s the words you need to say. It’s the time to make things right, and real. It’s time to get rid of the elephant, once and for all.


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