Every day, in various situations, we ask questions like, what’s the reason for this? Why are we doing this? What’s the goal? Who is behind this? Who are we doing this for?
We ask it at work when we begin a new project and there isn’t much direction yet. We ask it of our friends or family if we’re confused by their actions, or if a relationship is stalled. We ask it of ourselves when thinking about our future, when setting goals for the year, when making life-changing decisions.
Sometimes, we have the answer. Sometimes, it’s as easy as setting a fundraising target or making a project plan with roles and responsibilities. Sometimes it’s telling someone you love the truth, clearing the air, and fixing the problem.
But sometimes, these questions seem almost unanswerable. Impossible. Cloudy. Questions you know aren’t going away, but still, months later, sometimes years later, you still can’t pin down.
Ex. 1: Consistent feelings that your body isn’t good enough, you’re not pretty enough, you weigh too much, you need to work even harder. I’d say this is an example that 90% of the time falls onto women. Just tonight, a guy friend and I were discussing why women always feel the need to lose more weight, to feel even prettier, to compare to other girls. I didn’t really have an answer. I have friends and family and a boyfriend who tell me I’m beautiful and I look great. I work out several days a week and eat healthily most of the time. I’m not overweight. But I, along with millions of other women out there, feel it could be better – we could be better. Why? Because society tells us? Because it’s inherently in womens’ psyche’s to want to please, to woo, to be prettier and more desirable than the next woman? Maybe a little of both.
Ex. 2: What life choices will make me happy? A balanced career and family? Just a family? Just a job? And how do you know what the decision is and when to make it? So many of us are bouncing scenarios around in our heads about what is more important- love or career, location or money, work we love, or work that pays…the list goes on. There is no end to the what ifs and which would I rathers and what is bests, and it’s like banging your head against a brick wall waiting for the moment of clarity that makes everything so easy. Life is not about drawing straws, playing heads or tails or taking a quiz to find your perfect answer, as much as we all sometimes wish it were.
So, how do we answer these questions that are still here, waiting, at the end of this post? As I’ve been realizing, sometimes our answers and come-t0-jesus moments won’t always happen after sittin’ and thinkin’ for hours on end. It may come in the middle of a conversation, in the middle of a blog post, in a dream, or from hearing someone else’s story. They may come when we’re least expecting it – when we don’t force the question, and just see where life takes us.