Charge that to someone else’s emotional bank account

Cut down on your emotional debt

When work has been hell, your friends are not being such good friends, and things are happening around you out of your control, it’s easy to feel down about it. You might feel sad, angry, or helpless. You might think that by continuing to truck along and do your thing, into work at 8, out at 6:30 or 7, a drink or two with a coworker, and going to bed too late, that you’re taking care of it.

I know for me, that’s the opposite of taking care of it. So when I am not leaving work at a decent hour to go home and work out, cook a healthy meal, and get to bed early, it affects me. When I don’t stop for a few days and reflect, or write, or cry, or make time for myself, it starts to all hit me at once — I’m emotionally drained, physically drained, and ready to cut someone’s head off — in addition to my own.

And that’s where the trouble starts, because no one really wants to be angry at everyone around them. No one wants to feel crappy day in and day out, continuously lose sleep and have bad dreams, and feel like we’re serving everyone but ourselves. But it’s easy to take all the life stuff that’s happening around you, and feel like it’s all happening to you — whether you have anything to do with it or not.

And someone says, “Charge that to someone else’s emotional bank account.” Or, “why are you letting that affect you so much?”

Easier said than done to change this, as we know.

It’s in our nature to react to what’s going on around us. It’s in our very fibers to get emotional over stuff, and to take the burden on ourselves. And it’s very easy to tell someone else to cut him/her some slack. But when it comes to ourselves? We turn into a chicken running around with our head cut off, bumping into everything and everyone and not knowing where or how to stop.

Sometimes it takes just one person to remind us to slow down, to take time away from everything. Sometimes it takes two people. Sometimes it takes five people, a therapist, and your boss to tell you to put all the other stuff aside, to take time to recharge, and to put you first.

And when you do? You realize it feels so good…so right. You block the person online that has been annoying you, you leave on time and go home to your life, you have a good cry, eat some chocolate, blast your favorite music, wear a new dress. You think about the vacation you’ll be taking soon, and book a massage. You remember that you are in control of your life, and you are in charge of how the stuff floating around in it affects you.

Running low on credit? Charge it to someone else. This time, it’s allowed.


What do you do to take charge of your life when you’re feeling run down and overwhelmed?


2 thoughts on “Charge that to someone else’s emotional bank account

  1. True true true. I think the thing I’ve discovered about the personal bank account is that the external pressures turn into internal pressures.That constant withdrawal of inner life force dwindles. It takes as long to get back in the “black” as it took to get in the “red”. Remember to be patient with self to return to self.


  2. This is such a good post, and it’s so true. Most of us forget to put us first – we’re always trying to please others, make our friends and family happy, and take care of everyone/everything except ourselves. This is a mistake because we only get more run down and stressed out when we neglect ourselves. We really do need to put ourselves first, sometimes!


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